GR8 CHEF

OH NO!  Not another food blogger!  It would seem that every other contestant featured on the Next Food Network Star is a blazing food blogger. 

Just kidding.  Hi, I'm Bruce David and I love food and anything that has to do with food, including blogs. I especially like sources of food and recipe info that that are credible and offer good, sensible advice about food, sources, methods, innovations, trends, events, new restaurants and news.   It's my intention to keep this blog credible, informative, and, through the experiences and practice of me and any other credible contributors, try to offer honest, failsafe, foolproof recipes and advice to include do's and don'ts learned through my own testing. In exchange, I welcome open, honest, insightful, constructive commentary and even provocative critique.  My only rule is to keep it honest and keep it real but keep it civil. Let's discuss this credibility thing for just a second:

Last weekend, I set forth on a new journey to prepare Korean style pork belly for a group of my closest friends using the pressure cooking method.  I sifted through a half dozen recipes on line and found one offered by a blogger from a well-known gambling mecca located in soutrhern Nevada.  That is as descript as I shall be about the source of the recipe because, even though I followed the recipe to a tee, it was an utter disaster.  It was not my recipe but I take ownership for the disaster because I prepared the dish and I served it to guests without first testing it myself.  A cardinal sin overlooked in my haste to please my guests.  It was ridculous of me to presume that anything that looked so good in the pictures that accompanied the recipe would taste as good as it looked.    As things turned out, I would not serve this food to my most despised enemies.  The recipe should have been named "Plutonium Pork Belly".  Here's an accounting of how things went wrong: 

The author's description of the Korean chile powder described the flavor of something that was far from the Korean chile powder I purchased from a prominent Asian food store in Orlando, Florida, where I reside.  The author discussed the virtues of Korean chile powder as posessing a fruity essence, closer to that of paprika than to cayenne pepper and with a nominal heat index and, therefore, it was essential to use a generous amount of the spice to impart the desired "flavor".  Unfortunately the writer (probably innocently) neglected to advise his/her readers that there are differences in Korean chile powder and that tasting the substance prior to incorporating it into the rub is of paramount importance as one of the steps to be taken prior to advancing to the actual step of rubbing it into the meat.  I now know better.  I also know better than to serve anything to my guests prior to first tasting it myself.  This is cooking class 101 and I failed miserably on both counts.  Not only did I neglect to taste the chile powder, which would have diverted me from using it (or as much of it as the author called for) in the rub, but I went on with the entire process of cooking the recipe, roasting it to crisp the exterior and, yes, even serving it prior to tasting it.  Some of my guests were so very gracious and actually raved about the extraordinary flavor.  There was no flavor.  There was only a twelve alarm fire in their mouths.  Peoples faces quickly became a bright shade of red.  Perspiration followed.  Profuse perspiration, which was, thanks to one of our hosts, followed by ice cream.  Any flavor would do just as long as it was frozen and contained cream.  I was looking for an icebox in which to place my own head then and a rock to hide under after I extinguished the flames. 

A source of additional frustration was the need to locate a particular type of paste that the aforementioned recipe specified as an ingredient for the rub. The recipe called for "Korean chile/garlic/sesame paste".  In our reasonably well-stocked Asian food store, even with the personal assistance of the proprietor, we together learned that no such product existed on their shelves.  So...I settled, which I absolutely hate doing.  I settled for the latter product, devoid of the sesame, and gave up hope for ever finding the former.  This represents an unacceptable compromise.  Perhaps I should run for a seat in congress?  I wonder if the single missing, yet presumably important ingredient, sesame, would have changed anything.  Doubtful.  The heat from the double wammy of Korean chile powder and chile paste was just too incredibly overbearing to allow the essence of anything else touch the taste buds, which had all but been destroyed beyond future use.  I'm talking about a heat index that has never been measured on the Scoville scale.  A force ten, Chernobyl-style nuclear meltdown in your mouth disaster.  I would seek the cooler refuge of the hottest place in Hell before ever attempting to again eat this food.  It's funny; my contribution of dinner was the second part of a progressive dining experience that began with brunch at another participant's home.  As a result of this disaster I've coined the new phrase, "Regressive Dining".

I also prepared Kimchi, a traditional accompaniment to Korean cuisine, which was (just) OK.  What I discovered is that I'm not enamored with Kimchi.  Again, it was just OK.  Not over the top.  Not underwhelming.  Not very interesting.  Rather bland to be abundantly honest.  Ah, but in the process of making that, I learned something else worth sharing here.  The recipe, which came from the same blogger's site that featured the recipe for the Korean pork belly, specified fish sauce as one of the ingredients.  Did you know that at the same Asian food store where I found the dreaded Korean chile powder, in the refrigerated section, I found no less than a dozen varieties of fish sauce, in jars, all of which possessed the consistency of prepared bean dip?  Did you know I found another product, also labeled fish sauce, which by contrast, was a clear liquid, the same viscosity as water, in a shaker bottle?  Well, damnit, which one do I use?  I used the former because it seemed more pure of essence.  Was it what the blogger intended for use in the recipe?  I don't know and perhaps never will.  I do know that it turned the Kimchi an interesting color of mud and thus deduced that I must have made the wrong selection regarding fish sauce.  That is what I'm talking about with regard to credibility and specificity.  Absent specificity, there is no credibility. 

But alas, the good news is that dinner was saved with a Korean style, grilled flank steak first soaked in a dark soy/roasted sesame oil/rice wine/ginger/spring onion/garlic marinade.  This was contrasted with a chilled sweet and sour cucumber, onion and matchstick carrot salad.  The steak was tender, perfectly cooked, very flavorful and contrasted nicely with the salad.  It was also absent the flavor of Korean chile. Thank goodness for that small salvation.

At the risk of seeming redundant, my point is this:  The latter recipes are exactly the type of recipes I will never feature on this blog.  Sloppy, vague and loosey goosey won't cut it here.  Out of respect for my readers and contributors, it will remain my objective to provide factually verified information that supports recipes that either I or my trusted contributors have either created, amended, appended and, above all, tested outselves.  Without being stuffy, I will attempt to interject a bit of anecdotal humor and human sensitivity (because a blog should be entertaining as well as informative) but I will, when necessary, be as precise in specificity to include prcise measurements, cooking temperatures and times and even brand names of products, especially if it becomes apparent that deviation from a particular product is to be avoided in order to promote the best outcome.  If I sense that readers may encounter difficulty obtaining a particular ingredient for a recipe, I will do my very best to provide a mail order source for the product, provided that I am able to do so.  I will also make you aware of cost (at least with an indication of nominal, moderate or expensive) so that those of you, who like myself, must operate their kitchens within their means whilst remaining mindful of budgetary constraints, can be made aware of the prospective price tag so that you do not go broke in the process of feeding yourself and those fortunate people upon whom you look with favor.  Fortunately, there is a very good chance that I will be able to do exactly those things because the procurement of specialized goods and services (among other things) happens to be what I do for a living...and I'm pretty darn good at it.  When I must find an otherwise elusive ingredient that is essential to a recipe and have adequate time to identify a reliable source, there is little that will stand in my way from doing so.  In this regard, I posess the determination of a pit bull.  I am pleased to pass along the information.  To do so is good for the economy.

The morals to today's (inaugural) blog story are as follows:  First, not all Korean chile powder is created equal.  Do not, repeat, do not believe otherwise, even for an instant.  Second, avert disasters in your own kitchen like the one above by tasting the food, especially any unknown ingredients, as you prepare it, and certainly before you serve it. 

Catch ya again soon on GR8CHEFS.

-Bruce David